Time to get up. I look at the clock and groan. Why can’t 6:45 come a little later in the day? I throw the covers off and immediately shiver. There are disadvantages to sharing a room with the man who sleeps with the window open in the middle of the winter.
As I stumble to the bathroom I start the morning dialogue in my mind.
You don’t like working out, so why are you waking up early to work out? You could skip this, you know. You could just crawl back into bed like always.
Silencing myself I gather my belongings for the day. Sports Bra. Pants. Top. Socks. Shoes. The little black jacket that I love. If anything, I’m going to look cute while I torture myself. I walk downstairs. The husband shakes his head at me. “Who are you?” I ignore him.
I decide that I need to actually eat breakfast this morning. I head to the kitchen. I am irritated to find that a certain child did not do their chore last night; I have to clean the blender. Sighing I get to work on the smoothie. Coconut Water. Berries. Mango. Peaches. Max Greens. I have spent 6 months perfecting this mix and I love it. It doesn’t take me long to finish the liquid nourishment. After finishing the smoothie, I down a handful of supplements that keep my body chemistry in balance. Breakfast is over.
I put on my running shoes. I am always surprised at how light they are; Nike sure knows how to make shoes. I start the ‘lets-find-my-purse’ routine. I do not understand. Even if I put it in the same place every night, I forget in the morning where I put it. It’s a humble reminder that I still live with ADD. Luckily I find it in short order, along with the key fob for the gym. I quick…well, sort of quick…say good-bye to the husband and I’m out the door.
When I started losing weight last year I knew I wanted to get back into shape. I joined a gym. Gained a workout buddy and friend. Twice a week we meet at 8:00 to workout. Every week she gently pushes me to up my game. I want it, but I’m just not motivated. We both end up taking a break during the last few weeks of December. I realize I have some decisions to make.
- Continue with no changes.
- Continue with changes.
The choice is mine. I can’t do it because it will make my husband love me. I can’t do it because my doctor lectured me about the importance of exercise. I can’t do it because it is the right thing. The choice has to be solely for me.
I am encouraged to write out my goals for the year. To speak into being the very things that I want to happen. I pray and find my decision. I won’t quit. I will make the changes necessary to keep moving forward. My goal for 2015 is ‘Getting Stronger Every Day’.
- Get stronger physically
- Take supplements
- Eat properly
- Get sleep
- Get stronger emotionally
- Spend quiet time with the husband
- Talk with girlfriends on a regular basis
- Avoid situations that overwhelm
- Live in forgiveness
- Consistent blogging/writing
- Get stronger spiritually
- Talk with Abba
- Spend time with Jesus
- Learn to speak the Holy Spirit’s language
- Study Bible with the husband
- Embrace who I am
I make it to the gym. After parking the big beast truck, I sprint to the door. As usual, I’m running late. I quickly scan the little fob that identifies who I am. I open the door and smile. She is there. The one who has been encouraging me from the very day she met me early last year. When I was sick, tired and ready for life to be done. “Are you ready?” she asks. I smile back. Bring it on. I climb on the cycle. Take a deep breathe and begin. Somewhere in the next 45 minutes I cross the line. I feel the high that comes from pushing your body to it’s maximum performance level. From pushing yourself through the pain and agony. I stop myself from collapsing onto the floor crying. I am proud of myself. I did it.
In that moment I felt stronger. Stronger than I ever was. There’s still a long way to go, but I know that I can do it. One workout. One step. One day. Turning to forgiveness instead of revenge. Choosing love instead of indifference. Embracing the weakness and turning it to strength. Now, I only have one goal: getting stronger every day.
I am linking up with #TheLoft. This week we are sharing about goals.