I used to think that my life would be over by this time. In ninth grade I wrote my obituary for a health class assignment. I would die in a tragic car accident at the age of 36. Alone. No one to mourn my death. Those were the dark years. I’m glad those years are done.
I decided this year to do something I’ve never done: actually celebrate my birthday.
The husband took me out for dinner. I dressed up in a flattering purple dress. He kept telling me I was beautiful and hot. And for once I quit telling him he was lying. Yes. 40 is about being beautiful and loving it.
I rented a house in Bend and invited some girlfriends. They are in their 40s too! What a blast we had! Beer. Good Food. Laughter. Wine. Games. Reruns from the 80s. Just a weekend of fun and celebration.
I drank a beer. And liked it. And had a tipsy head, because I don’t drink. And my girlfriends laughed at me and I laughed at myself. Because it’s ok to laugh at yourself.
I sliced my ear and almost busted my knee. Seriously, I’m such a clumsy thing even at 40. I laughed with my friends. If you can’t laugh at yourself…
We enjoyed a walk in the park. Laughing. Taking silly selfies. Stalking ducks (ok, that was just me…), hanging off lamp posts. I took a deep breath…life is so beautiful when you just start living it!
Even the terrifying moments during Saturday night did not stop me from having fun. I will say, it’s absolutely no fun to wake up to a bomb going off. I have no idea what it was…but it was loud and terrifying to wake up to…TWICE in 3 hours time! The sound is usually a trigger for my anxiety. Mercifully the panic stayed away!
In the midst of all this fun I did reflect. On 40 years of life. Things I’ve learned. Things I want to forget. People I’ve loved. People who’ve loved me. So many bad and good memories. It’s been a beautiful life.
I like this age. I feel confident. I know who I am, I like who I am and I don’t care if you don’t like who I am. I feel safe, a dream come true. And I feel…a bit sassy. I think I like that!
It’s good to be alive!