Every year I like to reflect on what I’ve written during the year. This year my writing has developed into a more focused genre. I no longer write about homeschooling and travel. My blog has once again become a journal of sorts. As I learn to live as a woman loved by her husband, freed from the legalistic faith of her childhood and healing from the pain of abuse. I’ve been more honest about my battle with anxiety and depression, learning to embrace my femininity and sexuality and my marriage. Our life changed this year: I returned to working outside the home and the girls now attend a private school. My time to blog has been limited. Yet, I still found time to share some of my thoughts with my readers. I’ve been grateful for this medium and the part it played in my healing. My hope is to continue sharing in 2016 about our marriage and how we are adjusting to being parents of teens. I will never stop speaking about abuse. Thank you for being my faithful readers.
So, here’s my top 10 posts from 2015!
“The little boy who came into this world, ripping me apart, is preparing to leave my world again. I only pray he doesn’t rip me apart.”
“As a child I didn’t understand the concept of shunning. There was no reasoning that the person who I could talk to the week before was now dangerous to my salvation. I just knew that people I loved, looked up to, relied on were there one day…and then they were not.”
“What the modesty movement is REALLY saying is that GOD created women to tempt men to be overwhelmed by their lust. James addressed this 2000 years ago and yet the church is STILL preaching the same tired lie. A lie that started in the beginning when Adam responded ‘It was the woman you gave me.’”
“Parenting teenagers takes your breathe away and sometimes your sanity. It’s a balance between holding on and letting go. The questions are harder. The situations are stickier. The outbursts more intent. The consequences to mistakes bigger than just a boo-boo that can be covered by a band-aid. It’s frightening and exhilarating at the same time. And there’s no way out except going straight through these years.”
“Then there are those questions. The one that I hear and then ask myself, “Did I really just hear that?” The one where I know that the awkward factor is rapidly multiplying and there’s no way out without either looking foolish or well … foolish. For some reason they always happen when we are trapped together in a moving car. It’s as if they realize that the best way to get mom to talk is to give her no way out!”
“I will be sharing over the next month about Pulling Back the Shades on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram. I am just one of a team of brave woman who are not afraid to start the awkward conversations. Pray for us. Pray for Juli and Dannah and their families. As the world awaits the arrival of 50 Shades of Grey movie next month, we are standing for the truth. Our prayer is to set women free. I KNOW it’s possible. Every. Single. Day.”
“I don’t like the question. I answer her. I’m not angry. I’m not bitter. I’m not hurt. I’m not upset. I’m not even a recovering fundamentalist evangelical. I’m fine.”
“Abba asked me to share. To share the realities. The insight of a teenage girl, sexually abused, raised in a church that idolized holiness. “You’re not alone.” he tells me. ‘Some girls will never feel safe enough to speak about their experience. You need to speak for them.’”
“For most of my life I played with the boys. This ended the day I turned 13. I was taken to dinner. Just a ‘mentor’ and me. She explained how I was now considered a woman. A woman who would cause the boys and men to stumble.”
“After an amazing week together, which involved a few sweet times alone and one emotional breakdown on my part over an abuse trigger, I felt prompted to write this post. When you are sick, and you’ve never felt well, you don’t know how sick you are … until you feel well. I did not know how badly the abuse had affected my ability to function in this area until this year.”