When I first walked into the office, I was there to support my husband. He needed to change his health. Like, yesterday. So, when I saw him actually serious about this, I was determined to be as supportive as I could possibly be.
Dr. Dan began to talk. It was me, the husband and another couple. I tried to not enjoy myself. But, there was something about the way he described health. “Health is not just the absence of disease.” I began to understand that there was a difference between a “Maximized Living” doctor and my father-in-law, who was a chiropractor. Health, had five essentials, he explained. And this included my mind.
I was a mess that day. My head hurt, my back hurt and I was not a very happy girl. Convinced that we had made the right decision for my husband, I wasn’t so sure that I needed (or wanted) the help. I did want my back to quit hurting. But change my life? I wasn’t so convinced.
It was really Marla, who won me over. She was the one who made me feel comfortable enough to agree to the exam. I answered questions. Tried to bend my neck, back. Took x-rays. It wasn’t until he showed me the pictures that I finally realized just how sick I was. He was the first one who said, “And you are taking one of the hardest medications.” I looked at him. “You think I could have a chance to not take the medications?” He wouldn’t answer the question. But he told me to see what healing my body would bring.
I began care at the end of February. I prayed. The answer was to begin the weaning process. I read up on symptoms of withdrawal. I tried to talk to my doctor about reducing the dosage, making the process easier, but to no avail. Finally, I took the plunge, and reduced the dosage in half. I had a week of edginess, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I decided to spend a month on this amount. I found myself having more energy. I began to feel more alive. The soft, compassionate side of me, long forgotten, began to awake. I KNEW that I was on the right path.
In the meantime, I had spinal manipulations, multiple times a week. I attended nutrition classes and began a journey of eating healthy. I changed our cleaners to healthier, green-based cleaners. I emptied our house of as many chemical toxins I could. But I knew, what I REALLY needed to do, was hard job of cleansing my mind.
I began to spend time focusing on me, keeping a balance between the demands of motherhood, homeschooling and my mood. I continued to throw myself deeper and deeper into my relationship with my Savior. I let myself feel pain, anger and emotions that I detested. And I learned how to deal with them, in a healthy manner. I prayed more. Cried more. Laughed more. I began to recognize that some people were just not healthy, and to let them go. I worried less about what others think about me, and more about what YHWH thought about me. I dove deep into the shards of my pain and swam, until I could no longer stand it. And I stood up. Finally, convinced that I WAS healed.
That moment, when I decided to walk, to live, as a whole person, changed my life. The medicine saved my life. I am grateful that it was available. But now, I was ready to leave it behind. To accept that my years of hard work had finally paid off.
I made the last cut. And spent two weeks of anxiety and fear. And still, the ground did not fall out beneath me. The suicidal thoughts never appeared. Yes, I was angry. And I yelled. A lot. And I was tired. And I slept a lot. But at the end of those two weeks, I was taking a mere sliver of the pill. And I felt ALIVE. I was happy.
Life was back.
Then the day arrived. I needed a refill. I prayed. Should I call in? I decided against it. I took my last pill and didn’t look back. I NEVER expected that getting my spine adjusted, eating right, cleansing my body, would grant me my deepest desire: to live life fully free from my anti-depressant medication.
I’m still amazed. I had a “bad day”. You know, the day a female is blessed with every month…and the next day, I was fine. I remarked to a friend about the experience. She smiled, “You are just acting like normal people.” I smiled.
Dr. Dan, Tracy, Marla and Val helped me, but we all know and will proclaim, this is because my Father…he loves me and HE healed me.
And now I get to live my life, fully alive, as loud as I want. My mind, has been healed!
This is part 2 of 2, Healing My Mind for the 5 Days of Maximized Living.