I went from 671 friends to 0 in less than 72 hours.
Does that make you pause? Does your stomach drop at the thought? Hands sweaty? Heart race? Please tell me I’m not alone.
A few weeks ago my Facebook reality came crashing down. The Busy Mom blogged about being overexposed. And the winds of change began to blow in my heart.
What if I didn’t share everything, with everybody?
What if instead of posting I needed prayer on Facebook, I picked up the phone and called my friend and asked them to pray with me?
What if instead of sharing my heart, my soul, my mind, with the entire world (or at least 671 people), I took the time to share with a few close friends?
What if instead of screaming about injustices in this world, I turned off the computer and placed my feet on the actual ground … doing something about it?
What would happen if I chose to get off the grid?
To Friend…or not to friend…that is the question.
Modern Day Shakespeare
I spent an entire 5 hours one night paring my list of friends down to 300+. Then proclaimed that I had done the deed.
Why? Why must I share with everyone my justification to “unfriend” in what is basically not a real world? Have I replaced Facebook friendship for the real thing?
My husband is not on Facebook. At least a dozen times a year I hurt him by sharing too much. Asking for prayer for him. Sharing my frustrations with our business, our kids, our lives. Then he hears about it. From family. My friends. His friends. People he doesn’t even know. I live a very public life and he does not like it. Whether I think that is absolutely ridiculous or not is beside the point.
I hurt my husband. With my words. Publically.
Um, didn’t I promise to love and cherish, honor and respect my husband when I said I do? Didn’t that count? Or did it just count in 1992 when the internet was just a dream in someone’s brain?
So, in a rash decision (as I love to make those) I defriended my entire list. My mom. My best friend. My kids. Everyone.
I immediately felt alone.
Why? Why do I feel alone? Is Facebook friendship status REALLY that important? Do I REALLY need to know what everyone is doing? Do they REALLY need to know what I’m doing? Then Heidi’s words came to me again…ever so gently. Reminding me of what’s important.
Over the next several weeks, I realized something about myself. I simply had too much information about other people. Information that quite honestly, I don’t need. I don’t need to know about the personal lives of 2400 people. And they don’t need to know about me. Not really.
At the end of the day, I believe that we were created for intimacy. Most folks cannot possibly maintain so many relationships. All this social media exposure is like trying to drink in relationships from a relationship fire hydrant.
It’s too much. And it’s robbing us of intimacy.
Intimacy. That’s what I am missing. That’s why I feel alone. It’s not because I don’t have 671 friends. It’s because I allow Facebook to Replace the relationship between myself and people I love.
People who I REALLY want to know what I’m doing. I want to know how I feel. I want to see, to hug, to enjoy. In this world. This lifetime.
So, I made a decision. I will use this modern day tool to connect. With homeschool mommas. With my extended family who live outside my area. With a few friends across the country that are dear to me. With my kids (because I feel that’s absolutely important).
But my immediate family and closest friends, especially those that know my husband, they will remain off my friend list.
It’s not because they are not important to me. It’s not that.
It is because they are the MOST important people to me.
Because what I really want is to have that real, intimate relationship of friendship.
The one that requires me to turn off the computer, pick up the phone, and really connect.