37 years ago you celebrated your first Mother’s Day. I wonder what you felt that day. Did you know that some of your deepest dreams for your daughter would not be realized? Did you know that within a decade the man you had chosen to be our father would become our nightmare? Did you spend the day with great hope for the future, or did you have fears that could not be explained?
I look at this picture and smile. I know it’s an edited version of our first family photo…but to me it makes me smile.
I look at this and see a momma and her daughter. Survivors. I am strong, because in a way mom, you were strong.
You were strong enough to give me a sense of who I am. You were strong enough to give me love. You were strong enough to shelter me the best you could from the horrific terrors of your own childhood.
And although I face a future of hard work recovering from my childhood, I know that I have a momma who did the best she could.
And you still do.
You love me. You don’t turn away when I ask you a dozen times, WHY…you let me work through my pain and my anger, always there supporting me. Even though I know it must break your heart into a zillion pieces.
I want you to know momma, that I love you. I know you did the best you could. I forgive you for all the wrongs that occurred. I recognize now that you were simply trying to survive, just as much as your children.
I could write you a sappy, happy mother’s day card…but I think just be the true raw and honest me is much better.
I’ll love you forever.
I’ll like you for always.
As long as I’m living.
My momma you’ll be.
Happy Mother’s Day Momma!
Always your baby girl.