Some days you feel like you have no strength left in you. Standing on your own feet becomes impossible. You just want to give up.
This is one of those days. Faced with new revelations of experiences, watching the destruction before my eyes, knowing that going through the pain is the only way through…leaves me breathless.
I google “overcoming abuse”. I am led to a website. A website with words to remind me to be strong and stand tall.
Years ago, I thought the most frightening thing in the world would be to stand up to abusers. But the willingness to stand toe to toe with an abuser isn’t where I needed the most courage. I showed the most courage when I started to stand up to the lies within me—when I began to challenge the false messages I learned from the abuse. When I was finally able to confront what really happened to me and really understood the truth, confronting abuse outside of me became much less difficult. Christina E
This week I was faced with the doubt. Doubt that my memories were correct. Doubt that my perceptions were clear. Doubting who I am.
I fought back.
- I will NOT believe that I am unworthy again.
- I will NOT believe that I made up my experience.
- I will NOT believe that I caused what happened to me.
I REFUSE to continue the be abuse by allowing the lies to continue to run through my head…or to listen to the thoughts and opinions of others.
I WILL continue to stand strong.
I know not what this week will bring. As I watch someone I love struggle with their new reality, I hope that I am able to be strong enough to stand…to hold them up.
I know one day this nightmare will end. May the morning come soon.