Every person has a passion, a voice, a crusade. I have. But not today. Today, I am going to let go. I am going to let God be the Crusader and stand in the gap for the things I want to change.
I don’t need to be the one to change the world. Imagine that. I know that it’s the opposite of what society tells me. However, it’s NOT my calling in life. I no longer need to try to be a heroine in a story.
I had a dream last night. A dream where I needed to get a friend, someone I love immensely, a sandwich. While inside getting a sandwich I heard someone saying that you can just do an appraisal for someone if you wanted. Me, passionate about a profession, decided I had to set them straight. What pursued was a 20 minute tirade that resulted in some hurt words thrown around. I WAS right. I even had the LAW on my side. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that in those 20 minutes, my friend left. The food to make them a sandwich was put away.
I woke up. It suddenly made sense to me. I let my need to be right, to be a crusader for something natural, get in the way of something that really was important to me. In my crusade, I lost a dear friend.
The weight of that reality sits heavy on my shoulders. I know I have done that. I now see.
I now know the spirit which has plagued me, tormented my soul…made me focus on the things that don’t matter and neglect those things that do. The Spirit of the Crusader!
So I stand today and proclaim:
Crusader Be Gone
I want my focus in life to be the ones I love. I want my focus to be on the things that matter, the simple daily things that make their lives better.
Ultimately, I don’t want to ever treat this friend like that again. I cannot stand to see the pain.
That’s my resolve for today.