I woke up this morning with the STRANGEST words in my head….
You see I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name
It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can remember your name
‘Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain
La, la …
For the record I had HAMBURGERS for dinner last night and YES, I did take my medicine.
I have thought about the meaning of these words all day. As I researched the lyrics, I stumbled across this site, where they include an excerpt from America:
The imagery came from Dewey’s childhood: “I had spent a good deal of time poking around in the high desert with my brother when we lived at Vandenberg Air Force Base [in California]. And we’d drive through Arizona and New Mexico. I loved the cactus and the heat. I was trying to capture the sights and sounds of the desert, and there was an environmental message at the end. But it’s grown to mean more for me. I see now that this anonymous horse was a vehicle to get me away from all the confusion and chaos of life to a peaceful, quiet place.” Courtesy Access Backstage.
Then I realized, I’m wandering through a desert. I feel alone, deserted and banished. I find myself parched and longing for a drink of heavenly water. I long for it to rain on my soul as it continues to pour on my physical body. Oh, if I really could live in the Spiritual land of Oregon. A land filled with green, water and rain. (Of course, I’d gladly give up the seasonal allergies I suffer as a result of living here!). Alas, I’m here in the desert of my life. Yet, there’s a part of me that says, this is good.
I look to the Bible for answers and realize that many good things happened in a desert:
- Moses went into the desert to commune with God many times (Exodus 3:1, Exodus 5:3, Deuteronomy 32:10)
- David talked about being in the desert in the Psalms 102:6, “I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert.”
- Isaiah proclaimed in Isaiah 40:3, “The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the LORD, make straight in the desert a highway for our God.”
- In Isaiah 43:19-20, God proclaims through Isaiah, “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. The beast of the field shall honour me, the dragons and the owls: because I give waters in the wilderness, and rivers in thedesert, to give drink to my people, my chosen.”
- Jesus in the New Testament went into the desert for temptation and rest both. (Matthew 14, Matthew 24:26, Mark 6:30-36, Luke 1:79-80, Luke 4:42, Luke 9:10-13)
- In the desert, the Lord God provided manna for the people to eat (Acts 8:26)
- The Old Testament saints wandered in the desert while obtaining a good report through faith (Hebrews 11:37-39)
1 But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.2When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.3For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee.4Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honourable, and I have loved thee: therefore will I give men for thee, and people for thy life.5Fear not: for I am with thee: I will bring thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west;6I will say to the north, Give up; and to the south, Keep not back: bring my sons from far, and my daughters from the ends of the earth;7Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.8Bring forth the blind people that have eyes, and the deaf that have ears.9Let all the nations be gathered together, and let the people be assembled: who among them can declare this, and shew us former things? let them bring forth their witnesses, that they may be justified: or let them hear, and say, It is truth.10Ye are my witnesses, saith the LORD, and my servant whom I have chosen: that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me.11I, even I, am the LORD; and beside me there is no saviour.12I have declared, and have saved, and I have shewed, when there was no strange god among you: therefore ye are my witnesses, saith the LORD, that I am God.13Yea, before the day was I am he; and there is none that can deliver out of my hand: I will work, and who shall let it?14Thus saith the LORD, your redeemer, the Holy One of Israel; For your sake I have sent to Babylon, and have brought down all their nobles, and the Chaldeans, whose cry is in the ships.15I am the LORD, your Holy One, the creator of Israel, your King.16Thus saith the LORD, which maketh a way in the sea, and a path in the mighty waters;17Which bringeth forth the chariot and horse, the army and the power; they shall lie down together, they shall not rise: they are extinct, they are quenched as tow.18Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.19Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.20The beast of the field shall honour me, the dragons and the owls: because I give waters in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert, to give drink to my people, my chosen.21This people have I formed for myself; they shall shew forth my praise.22But thou hast not called upon me, O Jacob; but thou hast been weary of me, O Israel.23Thou hast not brought me the small cattle of thy burnt offerings; neither hast thou honoured me with thy sacrifices. I have not caused thee to serve with an offering, nor wearied thee with incense.24Thou hast bought me no sweet cane with money, neither hast thou filled me with the fat of thy sacrifices: but thou hast made me to serve with thy sins, thou hast wearied me with thine iniquities.25I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.26Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified.27Thy first father hath sinned, and thy teachers have transgressed against me.28Therefore I have profaned the princes of the sanctuary, and have given Jacob to the curse, and Israel to reproaches.
Then, I have to return to WHY. A simple word…with so much weight, so much depth, so much power. Why? Why? Why?
Do I not believe Psalms 118:8 when David proclaims, ” 8It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”
Still, I want to trust people. I want to know that they are going to love me no matter what I say, do, think or believe. That my worth in their eyes is based upon the fact that I love them and they love me. No expectations. No requirements. No judgments. Nothing. Just two human souls connected by a common bond of friendship. Does it exist?
I believe it does. I thought I had found it. I was wrong. I now struggle daily to pull out this huge root of bitterness and pain from the garden of my soul. The pain of being rejected is more than I can put into words. Looks are deceiving. Words are just fluffy words. Actions speak so much louder. The actions say that I am thrown to the desert, to survive, on my own…no matter what the words have proclaimed.
Do I fear it? No. I’m riding this Horse with No Name…through the desert…where there is no one to give me pain. On the other side, is an ocean, filled with life, water and vast amounts of possibility.
This morning, I was ready to quit. Ready to just give up. Go back to the old place I was, “repent” and get back into my chains. Now…now, I am ready to stay in this desert place. In the end, there is a reward far better than the one I am walking away from.
That’s my thoughts for today…
Have a great Saturday!